"Everyone is watching me": The cure for Gym Anxiety
The first time you walk into a commercial gym, it feels like everyone is staring at you. They aren't. Here is the harsh truth about the 'Spotlight Effect'
I remember my first day in a commercial gym. I walked in, looked around at the wall of mirrors and the guys deadlifting 3 and 4 plates and I felt like I had a giant neon sign pointing at me that said: He does not belong here.
I felt like every time I picked up a dumbbell, twenty people were analysing my form, judging my weight selection, and laughing internally at my skinny arms and chicken legs.
If you are new to lifting, or if you are starting out overweight, this anxiety can be crippling. It keeps people out of the gym for years. But I’m going to tell you the harsh, liberating truth that cured me.
The Spotlight Effect
Psychologists call this the "Spotlight Effect." It’s the belief that you are the main character in everyone else’s movie. You think there is a spotlight on you, tracking your every move.
But here is the reality: You are an extra in their movie.
Go to the gym and actually look around. What is everyone doing? They are staring at themselves in the mirror. They are looking at their phones to change the song. They are counting their rest periods. They are checking their own pump. Everyone is too obsessed with themselves to care about what you are doing.
The gym is the most narcissistic place on earth. Everyone is too obsessed with their own reflection to notice yours.
It sounds mean, but it’s actually the most comforting thing in the world. You are invisible. Unless you are doing something wildly dangerous, nobody cares what you are doing. You are just background noise to their workout.
The "Big Guy" Myth
There is also this fear that the huge, scary-looking guys in the corner are the ones judging you. Ironically, it’s usually the opposite.
The guys who have been training for 10 years know how hard it is. They know the struggle. The only people who judge beginners are the other insecure beginners who have only been lifting for six months and need to feel better about themselves.
Real strength respects effort. If you are in there sweating and trying, you have earned your spot.
How to get over it (The tactical approach)
If you still feel anxious, here is a practical trick: Wear a hat and headphones.
Pull a baseball cap down low over your eyes. Put big over-ear headphones on. This creates a literal physical barrier between you and the room. It gives you tunnel vision. You can't see them seeing you.
Focus on your program. Look at your phone, look at the weight, look at the floor. Do your set, rack the weight, repeat. Before you know it, the workout is done, and you’ll realize that not a single person said a word to you.